Fools

We've all let fly from our mouths words we wish we had swallowed instead. For us, it means a little embarrassment. For people in high places, it can mean public ridicule. Unfortunately many of the fools quoted below stand by what they have said. For mindless rantings from the religious right, visit Quacks. For blatant ignorance from the mouths of the politically powerful and hopelessly dense, visit Punks. 

A fool is consumed by his own lips.
—Ecclesiastes 10:12

Childrens do learn.
—George W. Bush before a group of New York school children, September 26, 2007 Video

I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could—if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.
—William Bennett CITATION

Marx, Darwin and Freud are the three most crashing bores of the Western World. Simplistic popularization of their ideas has thrust our world into a mental straitjacket from which we can only escape by the most anarchic violence.
—William Golding

The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.
—Admiral William Leahy
U.S. Atomic Bomb Project

Truth will become the hallmark of the Nixon administration.
—Hebert Klein, White House communications director 20

...a dreary record of typical family bickering, petty annoyances and adolescent emotions.
—Alfred A. Knopf reader's report on The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank 15

Christianity and Democracy are inevitably enemies.
—Rousas Rushdoony

No matter what happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping.
—U.S. Secretary of Navy, December 4, 1941

Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.
—William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, English scientist, 1899

The Constitution has never recognized a fundamental right to engage in extra-marital sex.
—Charles Rosenthal Jr., District Attorney, Harris County, Texas SOURCE

Gentlemen, you have come sixty days too late. The depression is over.
—Herbert Hoover, June 1930

God himself could not sink this ship. The Titanic is unsinkable.
—White Star Line

I think there is a world market for about five computers.
—Thomas J. Watson, Chairman IBM

While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility.
—Lee DeForest

Hemingway was a jerk. 
—Harold Robbins

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
—Dan Quayle

It is envy that makes a Communist, Nazi, or Moslem Terrorist. It is the fear of being envied that makes a liberal.
—Jack Wheeler SOURCE

We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.
—Dan Quayle

Far too noisy, my dear Mozart. Far too many notes.
--Emperor Ferdinand of Austria on The Marriage of Figaro, 1786

It's always better to take advantage of your chances as they come along.
—Lee Harvey Oswald

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
—Dan Quayle

He is one of those men God and fate somehow lead to the fore in times of challenge.
—George Pataki, of George W. Bush

Ours has been the first, and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.
—Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon, 1861

You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married.
--Emmeline Snively to Marilyn Monroe, 1944

Things are more like they are now than they've ever been before.
—Gerald Ford

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
—Dan Quayle

All forms of leftism and liberalism are based on an atavistic belief in Black Magic. All are based on the primitive fear of the envious Evil Eye.
—Jack Wheeler SOURCE

Knowing of your congregation's deep involvement in the major social and constitutional issues of our country is a great inspiration to me.
--Walter Mondale to Rev. Jim Jones

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
—Dan Quayle

People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.
—Darryl Zanuck

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
—George W. Bush

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
—Dan Quayle

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where  there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
—Dan Quayle

The singer will have to go.
—Eric Easton, on the Rolling Stones

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky.
—Bill Clinton

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy, but that could change.
—Dan Quayle
 

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
—George W. Bush

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. 
—Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

What a waste it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind.
—Dan Quayle

...too racy.
—Alfred A. Knopf reader's report on Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 17

The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves.
—Henry Kissinger

When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
—Dan Quayle

You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck.
--Jim Denny
Manager of "Grand Ole Opry," to Elvis Presley, 1954

Facts are stupid things.
—Ronald Reagan

What has America done for anybody?
—John Walker Lindh

Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.
—Julius Sextus Frontinus

The future will be better tomorrow.
—Dan Quayle

This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mential [sic] losses.
—George W. Bush

An orgy of vulgar noise.
—Louis Spohr, on Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, 1808

You will find it a distinct help... if you know and look as if you know what you are doing.
—IRS training manual

Usually, if you wait long enough, someone will ask your question.
—US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

Always chew your pretzels before you swallow.
—George W. Bush

Airplanes are interesting toys, but they are of no military value whatsoever.
—Marechal Ferdinand Fock
Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
—Dan Quayle

I don't need bodyguards.
--Jimmy Hoffa

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper.
—Gary Cooper, after turning down the lead role in Gone With The Wind

People are becoming too intelligent ever to have another war. 
--Henry Ford, 1928

There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.
—Albert Einstein, 1932

I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language.
--Editor of the San Francisco Examiner to Rudyard Kipling, 1889

There will never be a bigger plane built.
—Boeing engineer after first flight of the 247, twin- engine, ten-passenger plane

I believe it is peace in our time.
—Neville Chamberlain

I understand small business growth. I was one.
—George W. Bush

[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.
—Dan Quayle

It will be years—not in my time—before a woman will become prime minister.
—Margaret Thatcher, 1974

No imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
—David Sarnoff's associates' response to his urging investment in the radio in the 1920

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.
—Western Union memo, 1876

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.
—Dan Quayle

...impossible to sell animal stories in the U.S.A.
—Alfred A. Knopf reader's report on Animal Farm by George Orwell 16

The best way to get the news is from objective sources. And the most objective sources I have are people on my staff.
—George W. Bush 19

Just a passing fad.
—Phil Wrigley, on the future of night baseball

With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the US market.
—Business Week, August 2, 1968

Old science is not good science to teach only as a fact.
—Kathy Martin, retired lower elementary school and science teacher CITATION

Who wants to hear actors talk?
—H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work.
—George W. Bush

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
—Dan Quayle

It became necessary to destroy the town in order to save it.
—Unnamed American major, Vietnam 18

The talking motion picture will not supplant the regular silent motion picture. There is such a tremendous investment to pantomime pictures that it would be absurd to disturb it.
—Thomas Edison, 1913

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.
—Ken Olson, Digital Equipment President, 1977

There is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will for ever forbid the two races from living together in terms of social and political equality.
—Abraham Lincoln

This case is a loser.
—Johnnie Cochran

A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true, but the facts and evidence tell me it's not.
—Ronald Reagan 14

The problem with television is that people must sit and keep their eyes glued to the screen; the average American family hasn't time for it. Therefore the showmen are convinced that for this reason, if not other, television will never be a serious competitor of broadcasting.
—New York Times editorial, March 1939

This, the greatest of all wars, is not just another war—it is the last war! 
—H. G. Wells, 1914

We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.
—Hewlett Packard's excuse to Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.
—George W. Bush

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
—Bill Gates

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